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Professor Kate Johnson's lifestyle English column
What Never to Say in English!
'Tis the season for holiday gatherings, but are you ready to keep the conversation going in English? As you meet and greet friends, colleagues and new acquaintances, remember that casual conversation topics in your language may not be acceptable in English. Here's a short list of what not to say to avoid insult or embarrassment at any social occasion.
You've put on weight.
Avoid pointing out that someone is fat or making any comments about weight, unless you're trying to be rude. This is often a sensitive issue, and remarks such as "You're getting fat" are incredibly insulting.
Oh you're pregnant!
Unless it's really obvious, make it a point not to bring this up. If you happen to be mistaken, you have managed to let out a big insult. See above.
Is this your daughter?
Well, what if she happens to be his girlfriend? Avoid assuming relationships and instead wait to be introduced, or be bold and introduce yourself.
Your sister is so much prettier than you.
While this may seem like a harmless comment in some cultures, it can hurt the feelings of the person you're talking to. Instead, leave out the comparisons and just mention that their sister is pretty.
That color doesn't suit you.
Negative talk about appearances may ruin someone's evening – especially if they've spent a lot on their outfit. Try making someone's day, instead, by complimenting them on an article of clothing or an accessory you do like!
How much money do you make?
While this isn't insulting, it's too personal and can leave someone in an awkward position. It's not customary in many places to talk about money or salary.
You look sick.
Said bluntly, this can definitely be insulting. If someone really does look like they're not feeling well, you can ask, "Are you feeling ok?"
How old are you?
Age is a sensitive issue for many, and quite a few people are unwilling to reveal theirs. Stay away from asking this question – unless you're chatting with a 6-year-old. They're always happy to share their age!
The overall message is don't get too personal or be too negative. In social situations, and even all the time, it's wise to follow the instructions of a popular English proverb: "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."
More lifestyle English tips from Kate!
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Ask Kate Kate answers all of your lifestyle English worries!
Q:Dear Kate,
My friend and I are going to visit New York at the same time but we are staying at different hotels. I am supposed to call her hotel when I arrive, but I not sure what to say. When I call, is it better to say "Is Yoko Takahashi there" (my friend name) or "I want to speak to room 525?" Mayu, Tokyo, Japan A:Dear Mayu, If you know your friends room number, then it's best to say "Can you connect me to room #525, please?" The hotel representative will most likely ask you for the guest's name to confirm that you know her. Best, Kate
Q:Dear Kate,
There is a foreign girl I am liking very much but I do not know what to say to her to make her like me too. Can you please help me, Kate! Wong, China A:Dear Wong, hat's lovely that you've found a girl that you like. You don't want to scare her away, so make sure that you don't show all of you feelings until you know she feels the same way about you. Why don't you start by asking her to a low-commitment activity such as getting a cup of coffee or a drink? The next time you see her, try saying something like "Would you like to grab a cup of coffee" or "How about a drink tonight?" Based on her response, you will know if she is interested in you at all or not. Best, Kate
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